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A popular saying from 1950 westerns was “You’re gonna die like a dog.” As a young child I never stopped to think of the implications of that saying, but knew because the man in the black hat said it with a sneer, it was not a good thing. Looking back, I realize he was implying that to die like a dog was to die with no significance. But this month, at the death of our golden retriever, we had occasion to rethink that first impression.

Purchased during our “rocks and flowers” era (rams were dubbed Jasper and Mica, donkeys were Dandelion and Petunia, the horse was Lily), this 8-week-old bundle of mischief was named Poppy. For the last 11 years Poppy has been a fixture on Solid Rock farm, and a faithful companion to Abel.

As a 7-year-old it was Abel’s job to water all the farm animals, a job he often forgot until dark descended. So it was Poppy who ‘protected’ him from every imaginable creature as he hurried through his chores. And while she dutifully accompanied Abe on many expeditions into the swamp to search out beaver dens and all manner of wildlife, what she really lived for was retrieving. Whether it was hurling her body off the dock in pursuit of a tennis ball, or grabbing a stick that was casually kicked down a path, Poppy had retriever-madness. She also had cancer.

So how does a dog die? With a lot of grace and dignity. More than that there was a continual fidelity to her master, her eyes lighting up every time she heard Abel’s voice, or saw him coming. And when she could no longer walk to him, she still followed his every movement with her eyes, her tail weakly thumping out a message of devotion to him.

If we could die like that, looking with devotion to our Master, keenly watching His work in our lives, listening to His still small voice even when we are too weak to respond, what a glorious death that would be. “But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you…” Job 12:7.

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On our honeymoon more than 28 years ago, we were confronted with the question, “should a Christian celebrate Christmas?” Having read and studied both sides of the controversy, we’ve come to the following conclusion. While we acknowledge that Jesus wasn’t actually born in December, it is the time that the world pseudo-recognizes it. And, although the world’s acknowledgment of the Messiah’s birth is nearly choked out by the commercialism of the season, we as Christians desire to use whatever means we can to redeem the time.

Our thoughts are that the best way to accomplish this is to celebrate in a distinctive way, one that helps our children to focus on this wondrous act of God. But how? Here are a couple ideas that have worked in our family.

Reenact the Christmas story. Every year from toddlerhood onward, our children have participated in this amazing account in one form or another. When they were just toddlers they memorized the verses and used the Betty Lukens felts to tell the story to indulgent relatives. As the children got a bit older we began to have them act out the account, originally with our family only. Later we roped in families from our Bible study. Now it has evolved into a multi-church event performed at a local nursing home. Since 1994 we have videotaped these presentations.

Infuse your celebration with symbolic reminders of whose birthday it is. For younger children a natural way is through meals: large shredded wheat cereal can depict the hay in the manger; pocket bread, mozzarella cheese, dates and figs for lunch could replicate a shepherd’s meal, with, of course, shepherd’s crooks (candy canes) for dessert. Last year, we made angel cookies to take with us to the local nursing home for the residents to snack on while we performed our nativity pageant. Directions are available here.

Finally, consider an alternative to the Christmas stocking. This will be hard for those of you with handmade stockings of emotional value, but consider what a stocking represents. It is an obvious link to the most corrupting influence in this holy season, Santa. While the ancient story of a generous old man may have some truth to it, today’s lies of Santa benefit no one except Satan. Only God knows when you’re sleeping, knows when you are awake, and knows your full sin status. As a mother, it would be tempting to wag my finger and threaten about Santa’s gifts. It is far better to point my child to God and to speak of His daily gifts to us, to say nothing of the gift of eternity that Santa could never deliver. F

These are just a few ideas that have worked well for our family through the years. What is critical when planning your family’s holiday is to plan in such a way that will leave no doubts in the minds of your children about what is most important to you on that day.

May God be glorified as you make those decisions.

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A few years ago our teenagers were engaged in the horse breeding business, Haflinger horses to be specific. With traditional red chestnut bodies and flowing snow-white manes and tails, these are horses that elicit positive comments from just about anyone. But just about anyone was not good enough. To continue in the breeding business, our teens knew they needed the endorsement of a judge, one trained specifically to assess haflinger horses.

Likewise, in the home school realm, most states will not accept a parent’s assessment that a child is getting an adequate education. Instead they require us to prove, in most cases via a standardized test, that our children are in fact learning what is required. And honestly, if your child scores high on the standardized tests, doesn’t it mean more to you than that grandma thinks he is a smart little whip?

We naturally crave approval from others, but we treasure the good opinion of an expert. For the next two months, most of us will have multiple occasions to gather with friends and family. We can use those opportunities to seek the approval of those we love, or we can remember that only God’s approval will satisfy. How we dress, what activities we engage in, what conversations we initiate, will largely hinge on whose praise we are seeking.

It is a constant, moment-by-moment struggle to want God’s glory and not our own. But in eternity, when He pronounces “Well done good and faithful servant,” it will be worth the labor.

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As I read Valley of Vision recently, a phrase from one of the prayers so impressed me I have to share it with you.

“Lawful blessings are the secret idols, and do (the) most hurt; the greatest injury is in the having, the greatest good in the taking away.”

What is a lawful blessing? It is anything God gives you for His glory. But because they are lawful we often fail to see them as what they can become, idols. Take sleep for example. We all need it, and when it is available, it is a sweet blessing. But when we habitually choose it over prayer or devotions, it can be a secret idol. Or when a child compromises our sleep and our response is less than gracious, what has become the object of our worship?

Another lawful blessing can be our appetites. If you have ever nursed a sick child, you know the relief when his appetite returns. But when his appetite causes him to covet or fight over the last scoop of ice cream, then this blessing has now become his secret idol. Free time, friends, health, money, pets, crafts; the list of lawful blessings is endless, because God’s blessings to us are endless. And while many of us will concur that we don’t want any blessing to become an idol, it takes a huge step of maturity to finish the prayer as this puritan did. “In love divest me of blessings that I may glorify Thee the more; remove the fuel of my sin and may I prize the gain of a little holiness as overbalancing all my losses.”

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Long after our family began to understand and embrace the complete sovereignty of God, we still puzzled over the necessity of prayer. If God already knew our heart, and more importantly had already planned the outcome, what was the point of prayer? I won’t pretend that we have thoroughly unraveled that mystery. However, for our family, a delightful little girl named Krissy has given us a better understanding of prayer.

Because Krissy’s autism had resulted in severe language delays, she did not naturally ask questions. Even when she became able to make her needs known with one or two word demands (”Milk, please”) she was unable to ask, “Can I have milk please?” During the training phase we would constantly prompt her by saying, “Ask.”

One day, out of the blue, she asked/demanded “Disneyland.” “Ask!,” we responded. Then began a very laborious process as she worked at remembering and saying the right words, in the right order. Finally she stammered out, “Can I go to Disneyland please?”

Why did we make her go through all that effort when we knew there was no hope for a yes answer? Krissy’s autism hinders her from seeking out the most basic of relationships. When she demands something, she assumes she deserves a yes. Which implies no need for a relationship or dependence on us. As she learns to ask and not demand, she is beginning to understand that she needs us, she needs relationships.

Likewise, it pleases God when we move beyond our shopping list of demands. Even when He already knows that it would not be in our best interest to grant many of our requests, He allows us to labor in our prayers knowing that the asking will reinforce both our relationship with Him and our dependence on His wisdom, while refocusing us to treasure Him above His benefits.

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For the last three months 8-year old Krissy has brought sunshine and laughter to our family. Better still, through her autism she has brought us fresh insights to our responses to God’s sovereignty.

The symptoms and characteristics of autism can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations. But one of the most heartbreaking characteristics is the remoteness, the manifestation of a seeming complete disregard of the thoughts of others.

When fireworks startle a typical toddler, he will quickly seek the face of those he trusts. If they are happy and at ease, he will relax. An autistic child cannot do this and therefore has less ability to cope with the uncertainties life throws at him.

A child who is unable to sense his parent’s serenity during change may respond violently to something as simple as a modification in daily routine. Likewise the same child will not be aware of the parent’s alarm as that child eases the family pet out the second floor window.

While society presents a case for how liberating it would be to be free of the thoughts and opinions of those around us, autism presents us with a different view. Difficulty interpreting tone of voice or facial expressions and not learning to watch other people’s faces for cues about appropriate behavior will result in impaired social interaction, problems with verbal and nonverbal communication and severely limited activities and interests.

Sadly, in many ways, we display an autistic behavior to our Almighty Creator. When we find ourselves unable to respond appropriately to the irregularities of this life, or when we passionately cling to our possessions and schedules, it is probably because we are not looking to “God’s face” to help us interpret His plans for our lives.

The autistic child is often described as being in his “own world.” As we make every effort to draw Krissy out of that world we are daily thankful that God is relentlessly doing the same in our own lives

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